Prena Poetry

when people ask me who was my first love, i reply ‘loneliness’ and then there a miserable silence in both of our lips.

they usually leave in an awe—quite unaware how someone can actually love something as horrible as loneliness. some think it’s a lie because i regret my first love. i just like to leave them in arbitrary assumptions—there are a hundred versions of me lingering in every speech.

but, my friend, my first love was indeed loneliness. and it felt achingly beautiful at times i wanted to slit open my skin and disappear into the dawn. i don’t regret either, for when no one was there to hold my leaking mind, it was there—wrapping its arms around my heart and teaching me how to live on despite the obscurity of human nature. i fell in love with the wisdom loneliness brought to me at the end of the day, it made me treasure the moments i shared with beautiful people around me, it made me spill art from within and show it to the world.

i learned how love is not just some bond between two human beings. you see, since such young age we limit love to only an emotion of attachment between two breathing entities.

but i think love is rather something bigger than just affection and infatuation. we watch films that makes romanticize every little thing—where we end up believing love should always be something like in the movies we watch or books we read or the music we admire. what we don’t know is not all form of love comes with grand gestures and swarming butterflies.

some kind of love are quiet and warm. like how you also fall in love things you cannot touch like the sky or the sunset. some kind of love are kind, you fall in love with the tea your mother makes for you or maybe let’s say a stranger’s sweet smile. some kind of love are artistic. the way how art and stories makes us feel. you fall in love with the nuance of worldly existence. take it slow and watch how your sadness also begins to feel beautiful enough for you to love yourself.

love is all the details of dimensionless things that makes up who you are.